Game Reviews

The Witcher 3 Complete Edition Collector’s Guide Review

Posted by on 9:27 pm in Featured Topics, Game Reviews | 0 comments

The Witcher 3 Complete Edition Collector’s Guide Review

The Witcher 3 Complete Edition Collector’s Guide Review After my 15+ Hours with this guide I can honestly say it has been a positive experience. This guide is packed to the gills with content. It has made my journey in the land of Nilfgaardian a painless introduction to the game. I knew to look at places I wouldn’t have given a second thought to, which made my journey that much more comfortable. Pros So let’s talk about all the great things about the guide first. The amount of attention to detail in this guide is outstanding. It feels as though I’m using a bestiary or an ancient grimoire to help me along my journey as Geralt of Rivia. This guide helped me get menial tasks done with ease. Never once did I feel as though I had missed something of importance or that I was ill equipped for what lay ahead on my adventure. One of my least favorite aspects of the game, Gwent, quickly became one of my favorite time wasters after being alerted to important strategies and tips to help me get the upper hand on my opponents. I found myself spending hours playing several hands of Gwent instead of venturing off to save Yennefer of Vengerberg and continuing with the main quest. While the guide did help me stay ahead in the game, it never made me feel too over powered or made the game too easy. The guide had a perfect balance of challenge and accessibility. Along with all of the content of this guide, the physical guide itself looks great. It’s a beautifully detailed hard cover book. It definitely feels like a lot of care went into the construction of this guide. Along with the Guide came two lithographs that I’m currently looking to hang on my wall once this review is finished. Some people may not want to carry a huge guide, but don’t worry! Prima has got you covered! This guide comes with a digital copy that can be used on any phone or tablet.   Cons I wasn’t able to find many things I didn’t like in this guide, but I do have some notes. While I do love the amount of content in the guide, the lack of pictures can make you feel like you’re looking at a textbook. I sometimes found myself getting lost because from time to time the directions were vague. The Guide would tell me to just go in a vague direction without much detail to guide my way. Putting a picture of something to look for would have definitely added variety while helping to let me know I was in the right direction.   Conclusion The Witcher 3 Complete Edition Collector’s Guide is a great addition to any gamer’s library. If you’re playing this game for the first time or feel as though you missed something, I would definitely recommend this purchase. It has earned its place among the other strategy guides I have purchased over the years. Overall I give this guide a 9 out of 10...

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Movie Review Kingsglaive: Unfit for a King

Posted by on 8:32 am in Featured Topics, Game Reviews | 0 comments

Movie Review Kingsglaive: Unfit for a King

Movie Review Kingsglaive: Unfit for a King If Kingsglaive succeeded in doing anything it’s proving that Square-Enix really should stop making Movies. Kingsglaive is an exercise in seeing how much fans are willing to forgive from a Square-Enix production. It does at least consistently feel like a Final Fantasy Movie peppered with nods to the series throughout, unlike The Spirits Within which couldn’t have had less to do with the property. However, that isn’t saying much in its defense since it’s just as bad if not worse in other ways. Visuals Kingsglaive looks good for a video game, which is problematic since this is in fact a film. Never once did I feel like I was watching a movie. Square seems to think that making things look real is enough to make it feel real. Things would happen during the film, and none of the characters would have any kind of facial reaction outside of slightly raised eyebrows when they remember to “feel.” Character movements feel just as sluggish and stiff as they do during game cut scenes, which kept me from getting engrossed in the film. The whole thing just felt like a long winded set of cut scenes in a game that just never let up, complete with frame rate drops. There are times in this film where for some inexplicable reason the action slows down during a scene the same way that frame rate drops during games, which was very jarring. Sound/Voice work While the soundtrack is very good that could be attributed to the fact that they took the music right out of the game. The same can’t be said for the cast who seem like they’re all phoning in their performances, as if this is something to do in between shooting more important projects for some spare change. Sean Bean (King Regis) is a stand out of not caring performances. His tone never once changes for any reason throughout the film, and he delivers his lines as if he was told to do so 50 times in a row. Aaron Paul (Nyx) and Lena Headey (Lunafreya) have good moments together but suddenly drop their performances to match that of Bean. Almost as if they realized they were caring too much and had to dial it back to fit the rest of the horrid performances. Story The story, if you can believe it, is the worst part of the film. As of writing this review I’ve just come out of watching the movie, and I’m having trouble keeping the plot in order, and I played Final Fantasy 13! From what I could grasp Tenebrae and Lucis are neighboring kingdoms that have formed an alliance to fight Niflheim by having Noctis the Prince of Lucis marry Lunafreya the Princess of Tenebrae. Niflheim interrupts a meeting between the 2 royal families in Tenebrae by killing the King and Queen and kidnapping Lunafreya as a child. The Race is on to save the princess who is visiting Lucis to form a treaty with Niflheim that is never clearly explained, which then results in what seems like an everlasting string of double crosses. Overall This film is getting an extremely limited release, and it’s very clear to see why. Kingsglaive has a run time of 110 Minutes, but it...

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The Witcher 3: The Wild Hunt Review

Posted by on 9:38 pm in Featured Topics, Game Reviews | 0 comments

The Witcher 3: The Wild Hunt Review

It’s easy to see why CD Projekt’s Witcher 3: The Wild Hunt  is one of the best games of 2015. This fantasy based action role playing game follows around the main protagonist, Geralt, the Witcher, on his many duties and quests throughout the land. Having never played the other previous Witchers, it was still easy to follow the plotline. I won’t ruin anything for anyone, but Geralt became one of my favorite characters very quickly. His easy-going demeanor became my bread and butter, I wish he existed in real life. Having been released on 19 May 2015, I guess I am late to the game with this one, but I thoroughly enjoyed playing it having bought it a month ago.     I have only played through at least 2 hours of the game, but I have played so many side quests I haven’t even put a dent in the main plot line, which involves Geralt following around his many lovers and finding Cirella, or Ciri, whom is another main protagonist. At first I went through all the main quests because I wanted so badly to meet Ciri, like most action RPGs, it requires you to do some leveling up to be able to complete the main quests. You can acquire side quests in each village via notice board, which in the game are called contracts. There are stupid quests such as help the pellar find his goat and bring it back to him which still gives you experience points. There are harder quests like defeating griffins and bears.  I found myself stuck in a level 8 quest being only level 2 very quickly. Since this realization I have yet to get back to the main plot, I am having too much fun having sex with witches and collecting armor and alchemy ingredients. I also enjoy his duality of two swords; one for creatures and the other for humans. It took me a while to get used to the idea of using each sword for different fights. He also uses magic and his Witcher senses to explore areas and find trails and more information about a quest.  Another fun fact about this game is that his beard grows the more you play, which to me is the coolest little tidbit. They really thought of everything when it came to this game, and I can see why this game has won so many awards.   Even though I have only played at least 5 hours into this game, I can see myself spending many week days and nights logging more hours into The Witcher 3. The map itself is arguably bigger than Skyrim, having different villages and towns of varying aristocracies. The Nilfgaardians territories, for example, are found scattered throughout the whole map such as the White Orchard. The swamps of Velen are my favorite area as there are weirder quests and contracts in this area. Each territory has their own story and economies. I’d rate this game a thorough 5/5. It is easily one of my favorites and has been increasingly more interesting the more I play it. I can’t put the controller down once I pick it up and I have spent many nights roaming the map.  Get your copy for either Xbox One, PS4 or PC today...

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Sword Art Online: The Lost Song (PS4 – Review)

Posted by on 12:12 pm in Featured Topics, Game Reviews | 0 comments

Sword Art Online: The Lost Song (PS4 – Review)

I don’t know about all of you, but I’m a rather huge fan of Sword Art Online. I love the art style, the characters and the concept of the series. It’s like a much more enjoyable version of .Hack and I’m sorry for all the fans of .Hack that I just offended. To catch those up to speed that don’t know about this anime series, let me catch you up on the general plot synopsis. Kirito and many other individuals are trapped in an online virtual reality game, Sword Art Online, if you die in the game you die in real life. If you complete the game, you’re able to exit the game safely. Kirito meets plenty of colorful characters through his adventures past Sword Art Online. Now I’m going to leave the story there to avoid the risk of spoiling anything. It’s a fun series and I believe it’s on Netflix so check it out if it’s something you might be interested in. If not, then that’s fair, but you’re more than likely not going to enjoy this game. Sword Art Online: Lost Song is the third in a series of alternate timeline games taking place in the same world of Sword Art Online. What I mean is, in the anime after the boss is defeated everyone is allowed to leave the game, and in THIS series, they don’t actually get out of the game after they defeat him. Plus there are new characters and the way people meet is laid out much differently than in the anime. Personally I enjoy this game and I am glad I purchased it, but I wouldn’t pay full retail for it. Why? Well this game is a port of the PSVita version of it. A straight port. So all the shortcuts and limitations on the handheld are incorporated into the PS4 release. Check out my video review for more details! Keep in mind I do reveal some stuff from the anime, so take a weekend and watch the series if you want to avoid some potential spoilers. -NAWK The Developers of the footage from this episode: Artdink, Bandai Namco Games, ASCII Media Works & A-1 Pictures . Video property of...

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Tony Plays: Viscera Cleanup Detail

Posted by on 9:00 am in Featured Topics, Game Reviews | 0 comments

Tony Plays: Viscera Cleanup Detail

I remember catching this game on stream at work and going…”Hold up. Are they on the Event Horizon?” I had to know what that game was. A chance to explore that awesome ship? I’m always curious when I’m watching a sci-fi movie. They try not to show too much, which is good, it helps create an atmosphere, but I can’t help but think: “Man, i wanna see what’s in that room….lemme mess with some knobs and shit!” This game kinda affords that opportunity, but you also gotta clean shit up, which I guess is OK, as long as it’s not too monotonous. Let’s check it out and see…. I start out in an office. I’m hoping there’s a tutorial so I can properly learn to fake clean and do my fake boss proud! I pull up my little iPad thingy and I see you can take notes. Nice. I’ll jot down useful tips to cleaning perfection that I come up with along the way. Now, I know a lot, if not all, of these locations are based on sci-fi movies, but I’m not gonna look ‘em up and just try to figure out what movie they represent. I’m not a sci-fi EXPERT or anything, so we’ll see how it goes. You’re given a character name and short bio and all that, but I later find out that your identity is random. It doesn’t really mean anything. Disappointing?  First level loads. I’m in some sewers where a battle between humans and monsters took place. No idea what movie this is supposed to be, if it is one at all. The monster kinda looks like one of the Tarkatas in Mortal Kombat (You know….Baraka’s race.). They had all the fun killin’ each other and now I gotta clean the shit up. Hope there’s no wiley monsters hiding in the pipes! I bust out my mop and get to work on some blood. It quickly gets blood all over it and loses its effectiveness. Great, now I’m just smearing it around. You can get a mop bucket in the Slosh-O-Matic to clean your mop, which keeps it good for a few goes. It’s a pretty tedious process. This is what I signed up for, though. After getting a few mop buckets, the Slosh-O-Matic decides to spit out a severed leg instead. This was pretty funny the first couple of times, not so much 100 times later. I see some dog tags laying around. I figure the victim’s families might want these, so I stash them in a box that appears to be a box where you stash stuff that you wanna save. No idea if that’s what you’re really supposed to do. I found a mission log for a group called the “Alienators”. Clever name, y’all. I guess they knew what they were getting into considering the name, but did they KNOW THE PRICE THEY WOULD PAY?!?! Maybe they thought there were one or two aliens and a bunch more sprang out of the existing aliens asses. I don’t know how these aliens operate. They might be ass spawn or not have asses at all! I could look closer. Maybe I will. Clean, clean, clean…..Am I having fun? I don’t know. Do I feel a duty to complete my tasks? Yeah, what’s...

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Review: Dropsy (PC)

Posted by on 9:00 am in Game Reviews | 0 comments

Review: Dropsy (PC)

I saw a preview for this game a few months back and I was intrigued by the art, with its creepy 90’s look, and got even more excited when I realized it was a point-and-click adventure, cause that’s my shit. I told Richard (King Glitchslap) about this game, and that I was gonna review it, to which he replied: “You’re so weird. I love it.” Is it weird? To be into games about clowns? Yeah, that’s….pretty weird. Fair enough, Richard. Let’s fire this baby up. The title screen comes on. It looks like a pixely mess, which is beautiful to me. This clown is hideous. He’s got a big ol’ round head, a big ol’ round belly, and a big dumb grin. Seeing this dude, looking like this, I kinda get the general disdain imparted upon clowns by the popular media.   Oh snap! Something terrible is happening at the circus! I see a cigar being dropped, and I assume it was deliberate, considering it met with the tip of a trail of combustive fluid. The flames get out of control, lil’ Dropsy freaks out, people are screaming, and the place is reduced to rubble. Mother Nature, queen of “too soon” pranks, makes it rain shortly after the flames have been contained. I understand that people don’t like clowns very much, but he was just a boy. That’s mean. Why they gotta fuck with him like that? The culprit should be ashamed! I’d call his momma if any of this was real.   After getting the backstory, I’m dropped into the game (Dropsy’d into the game? Sorry…). Everything is trippy and otherworldly looking. Dropsy has a car bed and it’s a friggin’ SWEET car bed, so that’s nice. You can check out the T.V., which features shows consisting of a few frames of animation. Wait a minute…is that MST3K? Nice! You’re stealing my heart, guys. I realize this is a dream, especially when the floor eats me. Yikes! You wake up and it’s basically the same room except it’s normal….er. Let’s rap a bit about the controls. It’s standard adventure game movement here. You click on the floor to move his rotund buttocks around the room. Cursor to the top to access a pop down menu, featuring multiple buttons. You can choose between Dropsy or his dog companion (and even more animal friends as the game progresses!). There’s a “hug button”. Dropsy LOVES to hug. He can hug people…animals…even inanimate objects. I made him hug a tree. He’s a tree hugger! Look, he really likes hugs. It makes him happy. So, just let him hug stuff, please. He had a rough childhood and he gets shit on all over town. And make the dog piss on stuff while you’re at it. He appears to get the same level of joy that Dropsy gets from hugging. The options menu is a little tricky. Like the rest of the game, there are no English words, just symbols, so you gotta figure out what does what. There is an option to choose if Dropsy’s shoes squeak or not. I chose NOT.   My detective training (watching Columbo) has led me to deduce, that between the opening cinematic, a table set up with birthday stuff for a non-present woman, and a conversation with...

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Punishing Polygons with GTA V [ J’s Quick Reviews ]

Posted by on 11:11 pm in Featured Topics, Game Reviews | 0 comments

Punishing Polygons with GTA V [ J’s Quick Reviews ]

J has his sights set on GTA V for his next quick review. He waited patiently for the PC release and has finally been able to share his thoughts on the game.

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A Very Default Review, But Done Bravely [ J’s Quick Reviews ]

Posted by on 11:47 pm in Featured Topics, Game Reviews | 0 comments

A Very Default Review, But Done Bravely [ J’s Quick Reviews ]

Review General Thoughts A lot of things go through my head when playing JRPGs: is this story engaging me, do I know who this character is, do I even *care* who this character is,  does the artwork enhance or detract from the story, did I eat lunch, should I eat lunch? You should always eat lunch.  Also, always wear sunscreen. You’ll notice that the most prominent thing to me in any RPG relates to the story.  I want to be engaged, convinced to stay up late at night even though I know I have to work in six hours.  Bravely Default delivers in that regard.  A story that tugs at your heart strings and keeps you engaged, with a good ‘Huh?’ moment thrown in at the appropriate place.  The story definitely had the trappings of everything good.  And it was good.  Until the end. As most almost-great stories however, the writers put it on a boat and sailed it straight into the ‘Ending Graveyard’.  A place from whose bourn no storyline returns – puzzles the will, and makes us rather bear those plots we have, than fly to others we know not of (you’re the man, Hamlet)?   Now this is speculation on my part, and wanting to not spoil anything, but I believe all writers want their stories to have an impact.  They pay so much attention to the middle of the story, the meat as it were, that when deadlines are approaching they are forced to skimp on the dessert.  Questions are left unanswered, or glossed over with a hand wave.  To me a rushed story always has that coup de grâce moment, when the final scene rolls and the denouement is supposed to tie up everything, and instead I’m left with even more questions caused by those events in the ending!  It is painful at best, but I managed to convince myself that the story up to the last couple of ‘acts’ acted as a salve to the burn of the final pieces. Plus the ending had a very Final Fantasy IV-esque piece to it, and granting that FFIV is the best game of all time in the history of ever and all future evers forever, that gave them some bonus points.  (But just a *little*!) Combat If you have played Final Fantasy V or any variations on the job system therein, you will feel right at home with Bravely Default’s job scheme.  Add in the ability to select a second job and use all the abilities in addition to your primary job, and then being able to select certain attributes from any jobs (the number and variation of attributes you can select increases as you gain job levels and progress through the story), and you have a VERY rich combat system.  I have a fair number of hours on the game clock spent just equipping different subjobs and attributes and seeing what excelled – the possibilities almost seem endless.  Indeed a little daunting if that sort of customization frightens you. Also included is the brave/default system.  The classic RPG system of attack once per round is tweaked slightly with the ability to ‘save up’ rounds and then spend them all at once (well not ‘all’, up to four).  Since you can also go into the negative numbers with...

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Angry Birds 2: An Exercise in Patience

Posted by on 1:22 pm in Featured Topics, Game Reviews | 0 comments

Angry Birds 2: An Exercise in Patience

My first Angry Birds 2 gaming session was in the most appropriate setting for this particular series:  The Shitter. I initially went into this planning to shit all over it, but ya know what, let’s give this a fair shot. The art looks nice. The production shows improvement from past Angry Birds games that I’ve played and they seem to have stepped it up on the bells and whistles. Angry Birds made 10.7 million dollars in 2014. The series has maintained success since the first game dropped in 2009. Many versions have come along (Rio, Star Wars, etc.), but this is the first official sequel. Merch includes snacks, toys, and even an upcoming movie (featuring a surprisingly talented cast). Angry Birds is Angry Birds. It’s a time waster. It’s not deep gaming, so let’s not treat it as such. You’re not gonna get an emotional rollercoaster of a story that leave you exhausted in the end. The most you can hope for are small, fleeting highs via tumbling shanty towers through a combination of skill and luck. It’s Angry Birds. You play it while you’re poopin’ or sitting on a bus or something. If you read online comments of this game, the main gripe you’re gonna see among players is lack of lives and how you have to pay for more. That’s how this works. This is a business. People don’t wanna use patience and just wait for more lives. You don’t have to pay a DIME. If you do, you’re just fucking yourself. You weren’t forced. Or maybe you have plenty of disposable income and you really love this game. If that’s how you wanna roll, go for it, I guess. Who am I to judge? You don’t have to pay, you simply must have patience. When you lose all of your lives, you can just wait to get more. Just wait. If you can’t practice this little piece of self discipline, what hope is there for discipline in other areas of your life? Maybe it starts here. Practice will power when waiting for extra lives in a mobile game, next thing ya know, you’re capable of resisting chocolate covered donut bacon burgers and you drop that pesky 10 pounds. Start here. Move up. Let me be clear: I am NOT defending pay-to-play. I think it’s just as lame as the next guy and it’s a pretty sad aspect of modern gaming. I don’t like it, but I get it. These developers are lookin’ to make cash on these games and this is an easy way to do so. I get it. I can’t help but be taken in by the little charms of the game. The animations. The sounds. They’re kinda friggin’ delithful I’m a tad reluctant to admit.   I wore headphones for a good bit of my time with Angry Birds 2. Now, headphones with a game means you’re getting pretty serious, and I’m here clamining that this game isn’t a serious gamer’s game. If you’re not listening to anything else, why not slap on some cans? The sounds of this game are pretty on point. It’s worth a shot. Beware the first levels. They’re easy to dominate in a way that makes you feel like your skills are exceptional. This luring into false security...

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SNATCHER (Konami, Sega CD, 1994) Review

Posted by on 5:19 pm in Game Reviews | 0 comments

SNATCHER (Konami, Sega CD, 1994) Review

Man oh man, this game right here. I had heard of it here and there for years, and just recently finally sat down and played through it. And I am thoroughly convinced it is one of the best fuckin’ games ever made. And I play ALOT of games. This shit is just too awesome. Ok, here’s the deal. It’s one of those adventure games where you spend most of your time staring at a static image of some area and you have a list of options like “look,” “talk,” “search,” etc. Ya know, kinda like “Shadowgate” on the NES. But unlike Shadowgate and its kin, this game does not use a cursor, which is a merciful thing when you have to use a controller instead of a mouse. Instead, all navigation is done with a list of available commands underneath each scene you’re shown. It’s done in a very polished and smooth way, so unlike other similar adventure games like this, it never feels tedious to get around. Every now and then, there are action sequences that involve you having to shoot at shit, and this can be done either with the controller moving a crosshair around, or you can use the Sega’s lightgun. Your choice. That’s about it for the game mechanics. Now, from that description, you probably find it hard to believe I could say it’s one of the best games EVER. But it totally is. And this is because the story, artwork, music, and voice acting are all top-notch as FUCK. Basically, it’s a “Blade Runner” type futuristic cyber-punk theme. Taking place in the year 2046, you play as Gillian Seed, a “Junker” whose job is to find and destroy these gnarly terminator lookin’ robots called “Snatchers” who murder the citizens of Neo-Kobe (the town in Japan where the game takes place) and subsequently steal their identities by using fake skin to make themselves identical to the man/woman they killed. In this way, they infiltrate into human society. Why are they doing this and where did they come from? You gotta play the game to find out. I ain’t gonna spoil shit. The whole thing is an intricate, well written detective story, and a damn good one. It took me over 10 hours to solve the mystery and beat this bad muthafucka, and I was never bored during the entire trip. The graphics are all done in an anime style, and the game incorporates brilliant cutscenes and dialogue. No “Engrish” here. Every little detail was paid loving care and attention to, and it really shows. Konami also put in tons of little easter eggs and nods to its major franchises such as Castlevania and Metal Gear. In fact, you are assisted throughout the game by a small, horny robot (who is also hilarious as a constant source of comic relief) named “Metal Gear,” and he’s modelled on his name-sake menace from the game of the same name. And yes, I did say horny robot. This is NOT a game for kids. It’s not overly raunchy, but it’s chock full of dirty innuendos and sex-based comedy. Other little gamer treats include characters in a seedy bar dressed like famous Konami characters and the ability to find an in-game videophone number for Konami. Using Metal Gear’s videophone function...

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