Game Reviews

Maybe You Missed It: Mission: Impossible (NES)

Posted by on 9:00 am in Game Reviews | 0 comments

Maybe You Missed It: Mission: Impossible (NES)

I’ve mentioned this game to a few people, but none of them seem to remember it. As a child, I HAD this game. I don’t recall how I obtained it, but I do remember excitedly describing the box to my dad and proclaiming: *gruff voice* “You gotta pick the right man for the mission!” This game whooped my ass for years as a kid. Now I’m grown and I’m ready to take on this beast again. I fire it up, the first level begins, and I immediately lay a bomb by accident. The bomb detonates. Though it may not hurt my character, I take it as a sort of foreshadowing of how this gaming experience is going to play out. I dip into the first house I see and I find a dude. It looks like I’ve gotta rub up on him to initiate dialogue. I get a little excited by this action, which causes my hand to spasm, my finger hits the button, and the dialogue closes before I get to read what he said. No problem, I’ll just do the ole “walk outside and walk back in” trick to try again, but when I return, the guy is gone. Give him a rub and he bolts. Typical, right? I start poking around for secret doors. See, THIS is why I should never stream. I’m the most boring gamer ever. Let’s say I stream Dark Souls, you would be able to use it as a sleep aid as you would undoubtedly doze off after hours of watching me rub against walls repeatedly mashing the action button in hopes I’ll find a secret door. Sometimes there IS a secret door, though, so shut up! I take to the streets. People are walking around, some of them normal civilians, some of them enemies in disguise! Even the little grannies are sometimes enemies. It makes me wonder if these are actual grannies or just guys dressed up as grannies. We ARE in Moscow, where even grandma is tough, so who knows. I’m getting all caught up in the music, cause it’s jammin’ as fuck. If you’re DTH and not so much DTP, you can listen to the music here: There are 3 guys on your team with their own strengths/weaknesses/abilities. You’re gonna need all 3 to get through most levels, so be careful. If one of your guys croaks, he’s a done turkey til the end. Let’s break ‘em down: Max: He’s got a machine gun and bombs, but the trade-off is that all that heavy gear makes him move as slow as grandma. I’m talking about an Aunt B type, not these roided up grannies in Moscow. Unless your grandma is dead. He ain’t THAT slow. Grant: He walks fast as hell, which is useful for dodging traps and enemies. His attack has no range, he just punches. It’s not an ideal choice for many of the combat situations you will face, but I gotta say, it’s very satisfying when an enemy is trying to blast you and you punch him into oblivion. Grant’s special move is sleeping gas, and this DOES have range. I’m not so sure it’s really sleeping gas, though. There is no slouching to the floor animation when you hit someone with it. They simply freeze...

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Free For Playstation Plus Members In July: rain (PS3)

Posted by on 9:00 am in Game Reviews | 0 comments

Free For Playstation Plus Members In July: rain (PS3)

rain is free for Playstation Plus members this month. Good news for me, as I’m still a Playstation 3 player and I’ve been a tad bit let down by recent offerings. Not to say there haven’t been some good games up for grabs, it’s simply been stuff I’ve played already. So, when I saw a game with an “indie feel”, I lit up. rain isn’t necessarily an indie game, as it was developed by SCE Japan Studios and published by Sony. Still, this game has an artsy approach with its Paris-like setting and pretty piano music, while featuring a core gaming innovation: the main characters and enemies are all invisible unless the falling rain washes over them.  As with any game that features a “gimmick”, I worry that it will rely too heavily on said gimmick to stay interesting,  rather than introduce solid gameplay mechanics throughout. There are enough cool moments to keep me engaged, though it is a BIT easy and way short. Helpful hints are way too plentiful. I never had to think twice about what to do, save for a few brief moments.       *Spoiler Alert* As I was playing, I tried to decipher exactly what was going on. Are these kids plagued by some sort of disease?  Are they dealing with death and entering the after-life? Is the dark city a purgatory of sorts? I reach the end of the game and, from what I can gather, they’re just sleeping and see each other in their dreams for some reason. How NOT sad. I guess it’s nice to get a “happy” ending. *End Spoiler* If you’re a PS Plus member, go on and get rain. If you’re not, I can’t say if it’s worth a purchase or not, because I got it for free. Wear headphones or use a good sound system while playing. The sounds of the rain, paired with the pretty piano music, make for a relaxing gaming experience at the end of your daily grind. Check out the official trailer here:...

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First Look: Drawn to Death

Posted by on 8:47 pm in Game News, Game Reviews | 0 comments

First Look: Drawn to Death

Free to play games usually come with some kind of catch. You have to pay real money later or it just takes forever to get anything accomplished. Luckily, David Jaffe and the rest of his crew over at The Bartlet Jones Supernatural Detective Agency have a different definition of free to play. They believe that their game should just be free. No gimmicks or tricks, just free. A full game with no handicaps that make the game more frustrating and no possibility of the game offering to take your money. The game is called Drawn to Death and looks absolutely amazing. The game takes place inside the pages of a troubled teens notebook. Inside this twisted world is an arena where hand drawn maniacs and demons kill each other over and over again. Each character is detailed and animated perfectly to look as though its coming to life on a piece of notebook paper. The sky is littered with doodles, random words, like “soul cancer” and “brokedick”, and normal school notes. The characters take to life and attack each other with all manner of weapons, creating most of the little color you see in the game. most everything is a white background with red, blue and black ink, but land a get hit with a flaming dodge ball or a shotgun and all of a sudden little teenager kid decides to bust out the markers and make your ass all fiery and bloody. After just watching a few minutes of gameplay, its easy to see a lot of creative work went in to every visual aspect of the game. Ranging from slingshots to light machine guns, Drawn to Death has a myriad of weapons at your disposal. You are only allowed to carry a certain number of weapons, but its your choice which weapons you choose to take with you into battle. Some you’ll choose before the match, while others can be picked up in the battlefield. Don’t like the range of your chainsaw? Try throwing it instead of swinging it. Bored of your sub-machine gun? Call the kids hand down to stab your enemy with a giant pencil. Although these are just a few of the weapons we were able to try, we’re told more, weapons, characters and enemies will be available when the game comes out. No official release date yet, but keep your ear to the ground for this one as it should be coming out later this year. photos courtesy of The Bartlet Jones Supernatural Detective Agency and SCE...

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My Love Hate Relationship With Heroes Of The Storm

Posted by on 1:07 pm in Game Reviews, Uncategorized | 0 comments

My Love Hate Relationship With Heroes Of The Storm

UPDATE: In regards to questions regarding the giveaway for the Heroes of the Storm Retail pack. Contest runs until Thursday 5/4 11:00am PST. At that time we will randomly select someone who has shared the article and liked the Glitchslap Facebook page. They will be contacted as to means of delivery. Thank you.   With Heroes of the Storm leaving closed and heading into open beta, I thought it was time to do a write up on the time I’ve spent in the nexus. Now I’ve been a gamer my entire life. From the time I was four years old and playing math rabbit on my monochrome green IBM 286 that boot up MS DOS on 5 ¼” floppies (strap in kids its story time with grandpa!). I’ve been there for DOOM, Descent, Command and Conquer, the rise and fall of Lucas Arts (Fate of Atlantis FTW), played Counter-Strike since beta and lost many years of my life to World of Warcraft. One thing I swore I would never do is play a MOBA.     When I first saw the concept I hated the idea of just running back and forth over and over again. It wasn’t my cup of tea. That coupled with the idea of micro transactions turned me off completely. I thought I would just stick to the first person shooter genre with the ten year olds who had claimed to have had carnal relations with my dead mother on a nightly basis. But having been clean of my Warcraft addiction for the better part of a year and a half, and the disappointment that was Destiny on top of constantly being told my mother had been f****d, I was looking for something new. My friend attempted to get me into SMITE, selling it as an action game instead of a MOBA. Making things worse he purchased for me the all god pack, meaning I had every character in the game that ever was or ever will be. I was hooked immediately. SMITE has an arena mode, that because of the camera and control scheme, is reminiscent of WoW’s PvP. This was all I played for the longest time, but it’s considered by the majority of SMITE players to not only be a joke but the testing ground for new gods (characters). The moment I stepped into conquest, the standard MOBA setup, I was slaughtered and more than likely the cause of my teams loss. Needless to say my love for the game quickly died and it started to feel more like I was at work than playing the game for actual enjoyment. What contributed to this was the lack of variety. It was a single map, that never changed. While some might take enjoyment from the variety in gods or items that you “counter build” against others, to me this was far too much to not only manage, but once players gained a significant level advantage over you, the game was pretty much toast (a contrast with Heroes I’ll touch on here a minute). Needless to say my love of SMITE, or MOBA’s did last long. Until that same friend received a beta invite to Blizzard’s foray into the MOBA genre, Heroes of the Storm. You see I had a technical alpha invite sitting...

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Maybe You Missed It: Five Nights at Freddy’s 1 & 2 Review

Posted by on 9:00 am in Game Reviews | 0 comments

Maybe You Missed It: Five Nights at Freddy’s 1 & 2 Review

If you haven’t heard of Five Nights at Freddy’s… well, I’ll tell ya. It’s a “stationary survival” series that gained popularity rather quickly due to the Youtube community doing “let’s plays”. Markiplier is the one that initially brought this series to my attention. So I have been working on reviewing the game, however two more games followed with fairly rapid succession. The games that were created by Scott Cawthon, aren’t bad, they are definitely spooky and super basic in execution. You either follow the commands to survive each night or you suffer a jump scare giving you a game over. Needless to say, this formula is super effective. Ultimately I think the series is memorable and can be entertaining at times, if you can handle jump scares. Check out the full review below: -NAWK The Developers of the footage from this episode: Frictional Games, Maxis & Scott Cawthon . Video property of...

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Maybe You Missed It: Dragon’s Crown

Posted by on 8:32 pm in Game Reviews | 0 comments

Maybe You Missed It: Dragon’s Crown

  Role playing is always exciting when you get into the correct mind-set. Personally I’m not always down to setup hours worth of reading material and dungeons for a session of Dungeons and Dragons. Nor am I always up for an intense grind session with the cast of Chrono Trigger, okay never mind, I’m always up for Chrono Trigger. Regardless, I bring my rambling thoughts back to Dragon’s Crown, released in 2013 for the PS3 and Vita. It’s the newest release from the talented and unique Vanillaware. It’s a four player co-op experience, either online or over the same PS3. There’s plenty of diverse characters to chose from to have your fair share of experiences throughout the epic quests. The difficulty in this adventure ramps up gradually on its own and not at the typical terrifying rate that most Vanillaware games are notorious for. Check out the entire video review for all of my thoughts. -NAWK The Developers of the footage from this episode: Vanillaware & Atlus . Video property of...

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Maybe You Missed It: The Typing of the Dead

Posted by on 9:00 am in Game Reviews | 0 comments

Maybe You Missed It: The Typing of the Dead

A classic arcade game that I fondly remember from my childhood is The House of the Dead! If you have played any of the newest iterations of the game that are still coming out, you know what I’m talking about. It was fun, very exhillerating and the only arcade shooter that I would say was even better is Area 51. Well, a funky little typing game came out for the Dreamcast based off of The House of the Dead 2. It sounds as goofy as it rightfully should. Instead of shooting at enemies, you’re typing at them to win. If you want to learn how to be more efficient at typing, then you should play this beast of a tutorial! -NAWK The Developers of the footage from this episode: WOW Entertainment, Sega, & Smilebit . Video property of...

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Maybe You Missed It: Mysteryville & Mystery Quest

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Maybe You Missed It: Mysteryville & Mystery Quest

So, here’s a fun game to play, ever pick up a game that you know absolutely nothing about? No reviews read on it, no knowledge whatsoever? Look at the cover, then the back and determine if it’s a good game! Even better, if you can find an old game that has nothing but the cover! Pick it up! It could be good! But 9/10 it’s going to be really bad, so join me as I check out the super average Myseryville and Mystery Quest games! -NAWK The Developers of the footage from this episode: I Win.com, Nevosoft, Spintop Games, Mumbo Jumbo . Video property of...

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First Impressions and Thoughts on DirtyBomb, Splash Damage’s new Free to Play Shooter:

Posted by on 9:15 am in Featured Topics, Game Reviews, Game Reviews-Not Featured | 0 comments

First Impressions and Thoughts on DirtyBomb, Splash Damage’s new Free to Play Shooter:

DirtyBomb, Splash Damage’s new shooter is quite the interesting game. It definitely is making strides…

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