Movie Review Kingsglaive: Unfit for a King
If Kingsglaive succeeded in doing anything it’s proving that Square-Enix really should stop making Movies. Kingsglaive is an exercise in seeing how much fans are willing to forgive from a Square-Enix production. It does at least consistently feel like a Final Fantasy Movie peppered with nods to the series throughout, unlike The Spirits Within which couldn’t have had less to do with the property. However, that isn’t saying much in its defense since it’s just as bad if not worse in other ways.
Kingsglaive looks good for a video game, which is problematic since this is in fact a film. Never once did I feel like I was watching a movie. Square seems to think that making things look real is enough to make it feel real. Things would happen during the film, and none of the characters would have any kind of facial reaction outside of slightly raised eyebrows when they remember to “feel.” Character movements feel just as sluggish and stiff as they do during game cut scenes, which kept me from getting engrossed in the film.
The whole thing just felt like a long winded set of cut scenes in a game that just never let up, complete with frame rate drops. There are times in this film where for some inexplicable reason the action slows down during a scene the same way that frame rate drops during games, which was very jarring.
While the soundtrack is very good that could be attributed to the fact that they took the music right out of the game. The same can’t be said for the cast who seem like they’re all phoning in their performances, as if this is something to do in between shooting more important projects for some spare change. Sean Bean (King Regis) is a stand out of not caring performances. His tone never once changes for any reason throughout the film, and he delivers his lines as if he was told to do so 50 times in a row. Aaron Paul (Nyx) and Lena Headey (Lunafreya) have good moments together but suddenly drop their performances to match that of Bean. Almost as if they realized they were caring too much and had to dial it back to fit the rest of the horrid performances.
The story, if you can believe it, is the worst part of the film. As of writing this review I’ve just come out of watching the movie, and I’m having trouble keeping the plot in order, and I played Final Fantasy 13! From what I could grasp Tenebrae and Lucis are neighboring kingdoms that have formed an alliance to fight Niflheim by having Noctis the Prince of Lucis marry Lunafreya the Princess of Tenebrae. Niflheim interrupts a meeting between the 2 royal families in Tenebrae by killing the King and Queen and kidnapping Lunafreya as a child. The Race is on to save the princess who is visiting Lucis to form a treaty with Niflheim that is never clearly explained, which then results in what seems like an everlasting string of double crosses.
This film is getting an extremely limited release, and it’s very clear to see why. Kingsglaive has a run time of 110 Minutes, but it feels like an eternity. The movie doesn’t know when to end with a constant string of final boss fights that just keep coming in order to run the clock. Halfway in all I wanted was for the film to end, but it would just keep going. Scene transitions were so bad that there were entire seconds of black screen in between scenes as if the movie was loading the next scene that literally got an “uuuuhhh ok?” reaction from the audience every time it happened. There’s an after credits scene that links to the Duscae Demo of the game, but it is not worth staying for since it doesn’t really add anything and is just the cherry on this crap sundae.
This film is the usual incoherent mess from a storytelling perspective that gamers have been used to in recent years and audiences have always been accustomed to. This Film makes me feel a sudden feeling of dread for the upcoming game in the long Final Fantasy series. If this film is any indication then we’re in for another Final Fantasy 13 this generation. The worst part for me personally is the knowledge that this is part of the VERY expensive collector’s edition I’ll be receiving this November.
I give this 3 out of 10 slaps: Rent at Best